Where We Belong"
by Anne T.M
Summary: Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are subjected to two months of questions after their return. The only problem is they only want to know one thing. What could it be?


Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am making no **profit** from this other than my own entertainment and hopefully yours. I would make a terrible Ferengi, wouldn't I!

This story was inspired by a song by Rascal Flats called "Movin On". There is a great line in the song that says, "There comes a time in everyone's life when all they can see are the years passing by, and I've made up my mind that those days are gone." The actions taken by the federation board of admirals once they returned to earth have led Captain Janeway to that very realization.

****

Where We Belong

By: Anne T.M.

"Chakotay, we have been here for two months. This is insane!" She was pacing around what might be called the common room of the dormitory at Starfleet Headquarters. "Everyone else was released almost instantly. Even the former members of the Equinox were let go!"

Chakotay stood up and walked toward her. He was careful not to touch her, instead he stood in her path. "Kathryn, calm down. If they are watching us as you suspect then you are giving them just what they want." He removed himself from her path, leaving the decision up to her. "Come and sit down." Reluctantly she followed him to the couch, fighting with every ounce of her will, the desire to take his hand. They sat down in unison, close enough to speak in what they hoped was privacy, yet not close enough to suggest impropriety.

"They are trying to push us to the edge hoping that we will break and admit something."

"There is nothing to admit! How many ways will we have to tell them that before they believe us?"

"I don't know but I cannot believe that you were right." They both jumped when they heard the door open.

The man that was not a guard, but they knew was a guard, came into the room. "Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, Admiral Nechyev would like to see both of you." 

They eyed each other. Both thought this was very interesting. This was the first time she had ever requested them together. So far her strategy had been to divide and conquer. They followed their non-guard down the hall walking slowly. Their outer serenity did not betray the turmoil they felt as they entered the admiral's office.

Once inside they stood in front of the admiral's desk. She spun around in her chair and faced what she considered to be her nemesis. Just as she had hated her father she hated his daughter. "Captain, Commander, have a seat." They reluctantly did as they were told.

"Tonight we will be having a welcome ball for the crew of Voyager. There will be a lot press in attendance. It will be broadcast live throughout all of earth. You will both attend in full dress uniform. Captain Janeway, you will make a speech and once the ball is over you will both be free to go." The admiral had clearly finished and she knew she had caught them off guard. She hoped that this last minute plan would catch Janeway off guard. She hoped to push them into a careless mistake.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn and somehow willed her to be silent. He took his time before speaking hoping the silence would annoy the admiral. "Admiral, I just want to be sure that I understand correctly. After we attend the ball we are both free to go. There will be no charges pending or court martial in our future?"

"That is correct Commander."

"Since you are still calling me Commander I assume that I have not been stripped of my rank?"

"Very astute, Commander." Kathryn sat back and watched as Chakotay asked the questions. She knew he wanted her to be quiet, afraid she may let her anger rule her at this moment. But he needn't worry about that. She would continue to be careful because a plan was already formulating in her mind. "You have been granted full rank and privilege of commander in the Federation of Planets. Now if there are no further questions, I have some last minute arrangements to make. My aide will have your belongings transferred to whatever coordinates you give him. Good day." She turned her back on them and returned her attention to her computer screen. Damn that man she thought, always the essence of calm. Even when she questioned him in the rudest, most base fashion, his calm exterior remained in tack. Damn that man!

They were escorted back to the common room by the admiral's aide. He asked them to call him when their belongings were ready for transport. Together they headed to the area that housed their respective quarters. When they were relatively sure they were alone Chakotay spoke. "What do you make of that?"

"I don't know. I was going to ask you the same question."

They had reached her door. She opened it and stepped inside. He pushed the door open all the way and stood in the doorway. "I think we should still be very careful." He looked around the room acknowledging that he would remain standing where he was. She nodded.

She began to sort through some of her belongings. "What are you going to do with your things?" Kathryn was fumbling around with the clothes in her drawer as she spoke. She was intentionally avoiding any type of eye contact. "I mean do you have anyone waiting for you to be released where you could send them?" God she sounded stupid. Why couldn't she just come and ask him about his relationship with Seven?

He watched her discomfort. If he didn't know how difficult this was for her he may have found it funny. Instead, he wished that he could run to her and pull her into his arms. "No, there is no one waiting for me. What about you? I am sure your mother is anxious to see you."

"I'm sure she is. If they told her about the ball I am certain she will be there." She was gaining a little confidence now. There was no one waiting for him, so that meant that he and Seven were over. She felt a little guilty over the joy that she felt knowing this. "I am going to send all my things to Indiana. I thought maybe you could do the same. Then when everything is over you could come stay at my mother's for awhile until you figure out what you want to do." She very slowly raised her eyes to meet his. She remained on the other side of the room where temptation remained at bay and there was enough distance to salvage her pride if necessary.

He shifted on his feet. The corners of his lips began to curve upward until both of his dimples flashed. "Carmel brownies?"

Kathryn's knees went weak when he smiled. He had no idea of the effect that his face had on her. "Absolutely!"

He turned to go. "I better pack my things now that they have somewhere to go!" Midway down the hall he stopped and backtracked to her door. He stuck his head in. "What exactly does a dress uniform look like in this day and age?"

Kathryn jumped at the sound of his voice, then she chuckled. "Ask our non-guard to replicate one for you."

"Good idea!" He looked at her one last time before leaving. "Just five more hours Captain."

Though he said it with the proper formality and respect, she understood every nuance of his statement. They were five hours from finally being home. Protocols and the wishes of others would be gone with the passage of the next three hundred minutes. Tonight their seven year journey would end one way or another.

The ballroom was elegantly decorated. It had a red and green motif befitting the Christmas season. They had returned in the fall and the Captain's first taste of freedom was at Christmas. The event was well attended. There were various dignitaries from all over the galaxy, not to mention the hordes of press. Chakotay watched her from across the room. Everyone she spoke to thought they were lucky to have the now famous captain sharing a piece of herself with them, but Chakotay knew that her captain's mask was firmly in place. She worked the room like a master. Even those who at first seemed skeptical about Voyager's accomplishments were eating out of her hand when she finished. Unobtrusively she had made her way to where he was standing. He handed her a glass of sparkling water. She had told him earlier that she did not want to drink anything stronger than synthenol. She felt that she needed her wits about her. "You are a master at this."

She leaned against the wall and sighed. "I may be, but I hate it with a passion. I cannot wait until it is over and we go home."

"Did you tell your mother that I was coming?"

Kathryn smiled as she remembered the conversation. Hopefully, he would never know what Kathryn told her mother but she would know if she was right soon. "She was delighted. She cannot wait to meet you. Since I told her we were coming there tonight she decided to stay home rather than attend the gala. She said she had enough of this stuff," Kathryn waved her hands around pointing to various parts of the room, and added "when my father was alive. But I think she wanted a private reunion."

"Are you sure I won't be in the way?"

She turned and reflexively reached out to him just as Captain Jean-Luc Picard approached them. She pulled her hand back instantly. 

"Captain Janeway, it is good to finally see you." He extended his hand. She took it and shook it.

"Captain Picard, this is my first officer, Commander Chakotay." The two men shook hands. Chakotay excused himself and headed in B'Elanna's direction. He did not trust himself to be near Kathryn. They had been extremely careful these last two months and he did not want his body language to betray his feelings. Before he was too far away Janeway spoke up. "Commander." He turned and faced her. She continued their previous conversation, "never!" He smiled widely and went to see Tom and his wife. 

"I saw your ship Captain. If I may say so you brought her back in remarkable shape considering what you went through."

Kathryn smiled. "She is a magnificent ship."

He winked at her. "I know the feeling! I understand we have a few more things in common like the Borg."

She winced a little as the memories of her time on the Borg cube returned. He gently patted her hand. "No one can understand unless they have been through it. It haunts me still."

They stood in silent understanding for several moments before Kathryn spoke. "It looks like the president is about to speak. Perhaps we should take our seats." 

"Yes, I think you are correct." They parted ways each to their own table. Kathryn was not sure what to make of Jean-Luc Picard. She had heard many stories about his adventures. It was a shame that she would never be able to speak to him about his experiences with the Borg. He seemed to be a person who would understand. Kathryn sat down at her table joining Chakotay, Tom and B'Elanna, Tuvok, Harry, The Doctor and Seven of Nine. Each had firmly stated that they would prefer to sit together rather than with their respective families. As Kathryn looked around the room she saw that every member of her crew had made the same decision. Even Samantha and Naomi sat with other crew members. She could not help but fill up with tears as she witnessed their continued loyalty to one another. Voyager, Maquis, Equinox and a few others picked up along the way, they were her crew and a magnificent crew at that. She no longer considered them a Starfleet crew, somehow they had transcended that and become her crew, hers and Chakotay's.

The President of the Federation continued speaking, lauding all of the great accomplishments that her crew had made. "Without further ado I give you the Captain of Voyager, Captain Kathryn Janeway." She stood up and approached the stage. Hearing the applause she walked more quickly. When she reached the microphone and looked up her breath caught in her throat as her entire crew stood up and continued to applaud. They stood alone in their salute to their beloved captain. She fought the tears that filled her eyes and stood as still as possible until they decided to sit again.

"It is an honor to stand before you and speak of what is simply the finest crew Starfleet has ever seen. I know there are a few captains in the audience who may disagree but I must insist that there was and is no better crew anywhere. No other crew has ever had to face the continued hardships that mine have had to endure over such a long period of time without the hope of assistance from Starfleet. We came in contact with many different races during our time together, most were hostile. Perhaps if you hear about some of them you will understand the tremendous strength that each and every one of these people possess." She stopped to get a glass of water. She knew her last sentence would make the brass at Starfleet squirm just as she intended. She knew full well that the things she was about to reveal would shock everyone sitting in the room as well as those watching at home. The press would have a field day once she was finished but she didn't care. She knew even her father would understand her need to do this, so she continued. "The first race we encountered was the Kazon. They were a militaristic race, each with their own faction. To say that they were hostile is an understatement. In our dealings with them, they attacked the ship on numerous occasions, kidnapped and tried to kill Commander Chakotay not once but twice and even took over our ship and stranded the crew on a deserted planet. That was the first time we almost gave up hope, but Tom Paris helped save us. An act that in the Alpha Quadrant would have earned him a commendation." The Captain turned her attention to Tom and smiled. "Mr. Paris came aboard my ship as an observer and in that single moment after we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant he become a valued member of the crew. He was our medic when we had no doctor, he saved Commander Chakotay's life, much to the Commander's chagrin I might add, and he piloted Voyager like no other. And that was in the first three days!" The audience laughed and Kathryn paused to gain her composure. "In subsequent years he grew into a fine Starfleet Officer but more importantly a fine man who is now a loving husband and father." Kathryn raised her glass of water in Tom's direction. "Tom, I salute you." A round of applause followed. Kathryn searched for Owen. When she found him she was delighted to find that he was smiling proudly with faint tears glistening in the corners of his eyes.

"Not soon after that we were faced with the difficult task of integrating our crew. We had to learn to work together if we were ever going to make it home. I won't kid you and say it was easy, because it wasn't. We had our ups and downs but in the end we became a family." She paused and looked around the room making eye contact with each table where her crew sat. "Another species that threatened our family were the Vidians. The Vidians were a race that attacked you and stole your organs." The members in attendance gasped. "They had a technological devise that they pointed at you and it immediately extracted any organ from your body that they wanted. As horrible as that sounds they felt they had a right. You see, their people were infected with a disease called the phage. It was not unlike leprosy that plagued earth in its early years. How do you reason with a group of people who believe they are being noble and saving their race? One particular time these people took my chief engineer B'Elanna Torres. Who, by the way, is the most brilliant engineer I ever met! We share an excitement for science that most of my crew did not understand. There were many meetings where she and I would animatedly discuss a possible solution to our current problem and the rest of the staff had no idea what we were talking about. It was during those moments that I felt most alive." Shaking her head Kathryn returned to her original thoughts on the Vidians. "The Vidians took B'Elanna and extracted her Klingon DNA and split her into two people. Imagine what that was like. It would be like someone taking all the genes you received from your father and separating them from the ones you got from your mother and then making two distinct people. It was one of the many times that B'Elanna had to struggle with her two personalities. In the end she was integrated back into one person and has since become Tom's wife. She also joined Samantha Wildman in bringing some the greatest joy that Voyager had ever seen when she became the mother of my goddaughter, Miral. As I look out I see the only other child born on Voyager, my assistant Naomi Wildman. I remember when Sam came to me to tell me that she was pregnant. She was so terrified. She was far from home, without her husband and we were not a ship equipped for families. Yet I cannot imagine the journey without Naomi. She was a constant reminder of the good things in life. I can never thank her enough for her contributions to the morale of our ship. And, of course, there is no better Captain's Assistant in all of Starfleet!" The audience once again clapped and Naomi stood up and took a bow.

"We also encountered a group of people called the Hirogen. They were relic hunters. Hunting is a long standing way of life in any society, only in this case they hunted people. The smarter the species the more interesting the hunt. To them we were viewed as nothing more than prey." Most of the audience sat in shocked silence. It seemed that every story got worse and each person wondered how this crew endured all those hardships to finally make it home. "We encountered them a few times along our seven year journey. The first time was during one of the happiest moments in the course of our first four years. It was the day we found the relay system. We were able to send a message to the Alpha Quadrant letting everyone know that we were alive. We later received messages from our loved ones back home. It was a wonderful time on Voyager." She caught Chakotay's eye and found renewed strength as she remembered his comforting presence when she received her letter from Mark. "But as Dickens said, 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.' The Hirogen had two of my officers and planned to mount their bones on their walls as trophies. In the end we got them back but we also destroyed the relay station. Our only link to home gone. We encountered the same race again later. This time they took over our ship. They suppressed our memories and set up simulations on the holodecks. They wanted the continuous thrill of the hunt. So we became their prey over and over again. Our bodies were shot, stabbed, beaten and god knows what else before we regained control of Voyager with the help of Harry Kim. They kept Harry out of the simulations because they needed someone to keep the power grids running. Harry and the Doctor worked together to free us first mentally then physically. When Harry boarded Voyager he was a wet behind the ears kid but today he is a fine man. He may have gotten there the hard way, but like everyone else on the crew, we would not be standing here today without him." Harry's mother was weeping as the Captain finished her last sentence. She looked at them and saw Harry's father with his arm around his wife both happy to have their son home with them. She knew she made the right choice of discussing Harry in this manner. His parents would not have wanted to hear anything too severe.

"In a particularly scary encounter we found ourselves fighting an enemy that had the potential to destroy even the Borg. They were species 8472. They had full intentions of a full scale invasion of earth. They duplicated all of San Francisco in an attempt to find a way to send their people in to blend into Starfleet Academy. We were 70,000 light years from earth and we stopped a plan that would have destroyed earth as we know it. We eliminated a threat that the people sitting here at Starfleet did not even know existed." She watched as people all over the ballroom were shaking their heads. The only one not agreeing was Chakotay. He was worried. He did not know where Kathryn was going with this. She had already given out information that was very close to being classified. She caught his attention again as she began to speak. "And, of course, we met up with our old friends the Borg more times than I would like to remember. We fought them, we ran from them, we freed a few of them, we infected some others and we even destroyed one of their transwarp hubs but nothing will ever come close to the fear I felt when I allowed myself to be assimilated." She paused for a moment letting the shock of what she had just said sink in to the public's mind. "Myself, B'Elanna and Tuvok went aboard one of their ships knowing full well that we would be assimilated. In fact, that was our plan. The Doctor had provided us with something that would block the effects for a short period of time. Our goal was to get to the central part of their ship and spread the virus throughout the collective. We achieved our goal thanks to the courage of the people with me as well as those back on the ship but it almost cost me a very high price. My chief of security was almost lost to the assimilation process. Tuvok, who had been with me for many years, was almost lost that day. He was assigned to me in hopes that he would teach me to follow the rules a little better. I know many of my crew are laughing at that idea because they see me as the optima of Starfleet regulations but I wasn't always that way. In my early days I needed Tuvok's guidance to set me on the straight and narrow. I know he will not enjoy my discussing our relationship but I feel I must. He has been one of my most faithful friends. He stood aside and let me make someone else first officer because he knew it was for the best, even though he was the next in line for the job. He continued to stand beside me even as I asked for his opinion less and less. I was never good at handling personal relationships. Maybe that is why he and I got along so well. The Vulcan that he is allowed me to ignore all emotion. Well, today I will not. Like others you missed much in your absence, the birth of grandchildren, the marriage of children and of course you wife. I can never make that up to you, but I want you to know that you are my oldest friend and as illogical as it is, I love you my friend. She raised her hand posed in the traditional Vulcan salute and said, "Peace and long life." He in turn did the same and answered, "Live long and prosper, my friend Kathryn Janeway." 

Now the tears were threatening to fall. She stopped and took a long drink of water and prepared herself for what she would do next. "A little more than seven years ago I set out on a mission to capture a criminal, a criminal who turned out to be simply the finest man I have ever met in my life. He was the sole force that held our crews together. His first act of bravery took place the day I met him. He evacuated his ship with the exception of himself. While his crew was safe on Voyager he flew his ship directly into the Kazon vessel that was attacking us thus negating the threat. Thankfully we beamed him out at the last second but his single selfless act saved Voyager. The irony did not escape me that day nor does it today. A captain sacrificed his very own ship, his pride and joy, to save the ship and the people that were sent to arrest him. Surely, this is a harden criminal." She paused for dramatic effect, and the audience chuckled. "With him as my first officer we were able to get the crews to work together and become a Starfleet crew. He set aside his pride and wore the very uniform of the organization that turned its back on his people. The organization that made an alliance with any enemy and gave away his home world and later allowed the slaughter of millions of people. He and his friends knew long before the Federation the grievous mistake of getting in bed with the Cardassians. Despite all that, he pledged his allegiance to me and to this crew. His quiet strength and spirituality were a constant source of inspiration to all of us." She stopped and looked at him. She knew he was wary of what she was doing but she had never been more sure of anything in her life. Before she spoke again she laughed. "Forgive me. I was just remembering one of our fights. I never met anyone who could make me as angry as my first officer. He questioned my decisions and made me look at all possibilities and at times I hated him for it. There were times when he agreed with me and times he didn't, but he supported me always, and I owe him an apology for the times I did not realize that. One particular incident sticks in my mind. We were in one of our shuttles and we crashed on some planet. I stood outside my body and watched as my first officer worked for 30 minutes to bring me back to life." There was not a sound in the room as she continued quietly. "That's right, to my knowledge I was dead! I watched him perform CPR and breathe his own breath into my lungs. In actuality I was trapped in the essence of some alien who was disguised as my father. All the while the Commander was trying to save me, the alien was trying to convince me that I was dead and that I should go with him to rest with my father. It was the sight of my first officer fighting to keep me alive that provided me with the strength to fight off the alien and return to my people. In the course of seven years Commander Chakotay has been kidnapped, beaten up, shot, had his consciousness ripped from his body and many more things that unbelievably were everyday occurrences in the Delta Quadrant, but I know nothing hurt him as much as the day he watched me die." She paused for a moment and stared directly at her former first officer. "Commander, without your dedication I would not be standing here today. The very man who was considered such a threat to the Federation is the very man who saved my life and helped bring me back home. Commander, I salute you." Suddenly every member of Voyager's crew jumped to their feet and gave a thunderous round of applause. Those who were not aware of what had happened on Voyager were amazed at the love and loyalty that everyone felt for this man. There were many wet eyes blinking away as Captain Janeway looked out at her people. When she stopped her own clapping the crowd settled back down into their seats.

"Well, now you have had a little taste of what our lives were like out there and I have given you just a minuscule look into the races and worlds that we have encountered." There seemed to be a collective sigh throughout the ball room. They all knew they had just witnessed a very emotional hour of speaking. The press was thrilled. Each one knew they had enough information for twenty stories or more. What they didn't know was that the juiciest story was about to unfold. The crowd got a little restless until they realized that she was not done speaking. As she began again they instantly settled down. "I am sure many of you here today and those watching us on air are wondering why you have not seen nor heard from me before today. That reminds me, 'hi, mom'." The crowd began to laugh until they realized the implication of what she had just said, she had not even seen her mother yet. "You have not heard nor seen either Commander Chakotay or myself because we have been kept at Starfleet headquarters for debriefings. My crew in its entirety was released and granted full commissions within days of returning to earth but the Commander and I were kept at Headquarters. I knew we had a lot to answer for so it was expected. You heard some of the tales, so you know a lot of strange things occurred while we were out there. We were questioned for two months and do you know what they wanted to know?" Kathryn stopped and let the audience ponder what she asked. "They wanted to know if we had slept together." The outrage in her voice was evident. The audience was appalled! After all this woman had done and that is how their beloved Starfleet had treated her. "I have been a Starfleet Officer for 26 years. My entire life I was raised in the tradition of Starfleet, proudly following in my father's footsteps and that was what my career was reduced to, my sex life! I returned to earth with enough information to keep Starfleet scientists busy for ten years. I brought back technology that will greatly enhance the Federation's defenses. I faced down foe after foe risking my life and the lives of others for the ideals of the Federation and all they cared about was whether I slept with my first officer. Well ladies and gentlemen, no, I did not! I spent two long months saying no in every imaginable way but they did not want to believe me. I think I would know if I had but any way you look at it the answer is still no. In retrospect, maybe I should have." The audience, who had been hanging on her every word, was taken aback by her last statement. "I was believed guilty and I did not even get to enjoy the crime!" She was playing the crowd like a master. Her outrage was theirs and now they were privy to her sly wit. Most of the audience was smiling. "Instead, I spent a good five years fighting with every ounce of strength that I had the attraction I felt for him. We were stranded alone on a planet for months. We believed that we would spend the rest of our lives there, the angry warrior and the female leader. Yet we held fast to protocols. I received a Dear John letter and found out that my fiancé had married someone else, yet we held fast to protocols. I spent the last years of our journey obsessed with getting us home because each day it was harder and harder to stand next to him and pretend that I did not love him." She pounded the podium for emphasis as she said that she loved him. Every woman in the room was staring at Chakotay. Their hearts breaking for the romance of it all. "Yet, we held fast to protocols. We held fast to protocols established in a quadrant light years away that we may never have seen again." She stopped for a moment visibly upset. Chakotay fought the urge to get up and go to her. He was shaken to the core. She never revealed her feelings to him in private, now she was announcing them to the entire galaxy. She looked his way and she shivered slightly. He put his elbow on the table and held up his hand, his fingers spread open waiting for a hand to join his. Even if anyone noticed his movement they would not understand the significance of his gesture, but she did. She closed her eyes and saw their hands entwined as they sat at their table in their shelter on New Earth.

Calmly she began to speak again. "There were a few times when I could have gotten us home instantly if I was willing to violate the Prime Directive. Silly me. I stuck to my principles and spent seven years struggling to get here. Here into the bosom of the federation, home." She stopped and unzipped her uniform jacket. She took it off and placed it on the chair to her right. As she reached her hand to her neck she began to speak as she removed her pips. "I never dreamed that home would end up where I don't belong." She took the last pip and laid it with the others on her jacket. She placed both hands on the side of the podium to steady herself. "Where I belong is with the man who I have loved for years, the man who healed my heart and my soul, the man who has more integrity than most of the people in this room put together." Her knees were shaking. For years he put his heart on the line only to have it broken more times than she would care to admit. Now it was her turn to take a risk. If he turned her down she would be humiliated but she had to try. "Commander, I have answered no for two months. If they ask me tomorrow I would like to answer yes! What do you say?" 

Chakotay was stunned. She had just announced that she loved him and if he understood her right that she wanted to go to make love. He was frozen. He sat there for what felt like an interminable amount of time. Finally Tom elbowed him. "Come on old man, it's your move!" That was all the encouragement he needed. He stood up in his place. He locked his eyes with hers. He, too, removed his jacket and his rank bar before he ran and jumped up on the stage. He grabbed Kathryn and twirled her around in a bone crushing hug. Finally he put her down. He cupped her face in his and brought his lips down to meet hers. The entire room erupted in applause. The crew of Voyager was on its feet, only this time they were joined by many others including Admiral Owen Paris and Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

On a couch in a beautiful house in the Midwest, a woman wiped the tears from her eyes as she touched the screen. "Welcome home Katie."


End file.
